Archive for July, 2010



05
Jul
10

Week 2 – Wowsers!

Today is exactly two weeks since I started this diet.

I’ve lost 8.1 pounds last week, for a total of 12.5 pounds.

I feel better, and my face looks much better.  The rest of me hasn’t shown much yet.  But it will.

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03
Jul
10

Several Big Events Today

Today would be what is called in the media, a Big News Day.

First of all, a combination of things.  I went out to dinner with my family: Mom, sister, step-brother and step-sister-in-law and their two kids.  We went to a place called The Bagel.

My usual fare at delis is lox and bagel.  Plus, this place serves great bread.  And fabulous fries, which I never order, but which I sometimes “borrow” from those who do.

I ordered a lox and onion omelet, and asked them to add cream cheese.  There’s my lox and bagel, sans bagel. I only felt like eating half of it.  I had quiche for breakfast but ran out of time for lunch, but had some ham-and-cheese rollups as a snack about two hours earlier.  Learning to adapt old food habits to new food rules is important.

Didn’t eat bread.  Didn’t eat fries.  Actually handled the fries several times, grabbing a few for my mother while the boys were in the bathroom, passing her the plate again later.

Watched my sister.  Mom asked her if the fries there weren’t the best.  Sister said, “They look great.”  Very important, that: she didn’t have to taste them or explain why she wouldn’t, but she still validated my mother, who wanted validating.  I shall have to remember that.

I told my sister about the diet and my progress.  She was very happy for me.  I explained a lot about my feelings when she gave me the book.  She invited me to share progress reports, saying that doing the diet with her boyfriend had helped a lot.  I may give her a link to this blog.  She will be my only follower.  🙂

The other big thing was that my stepmother died.  Now, how huge this event is will vary from family to family.  I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this.  We were close once, when she and my dad lived in California for a year or two, but we hadn’t been close since, and that was 20 years ago.  We didn’t call or exchange e-mail or visit.  The last time I saw her was a year ago, on Father’s Day 2009.  So I’m not going to claim that this is some huge tragedy for me, when her son, my step-brother, and my dad, and her mom are surely devastated by this.

But it shocked and saddened me.  And in the past, my first reaction would have been to head for the junk food.  Nothing like a sack of Doritos or a pound of M&M’s to render you incapable of feeling any emotion.

And I just didn’t.  I dealt with it.  I accepted the fact that it felt like getting socked in the stomach, acknowledged that I wanted to feel nothing for the next two weeks, and didn’t eat to create that state.

It feels really shallow to say that my stepmother died and all I’m thinking about is how it doesn’t affect my commitment to eat in a different matter, or how I seem to have changed and no longer want to eat to dull my pain.  But I think it’s important.  I’m going to deal with this the way normal people deal with it.  I’m going to write about it and cry about it and do something in her honor.  I’m going to mourn her and experience that pain, and I’m not going to stuff my feelings down and bury them under food.

03
Jul
10

Pride Goeth Before a Fall

So on Thursday I was so proud that I hadn’t hit of Daz’s candy dish in ten days.  So on Friday, I did.

But—progress—I only took two: a mini Krackle and a mini Hershey.  And you know what?  They didn’t taste very good.  The Krackle tasted sour.  Very odd.  I didn’t want any more.  Even more odd.

02
Jul
10

And back up

They tell you not to weigh yourself because any gain is frustrating.  I walked over to Michigan Avenue to catch the bus yesterday.   Not much, barely half a mile, but a lot more than I’ve done in quite a while, and I felt strong and capable.  And today I’m up .7 pounds.  It seems so unfair to do something good and have it not show up immediately on the scale.

And I walked to the Dearborn bus stop after work.  Again, feeling strong.  Maybe I’ll start getting off the bus at Lake in the morning and walking to Michigan, instead of getting off at Washington and taking the 157 back.  I did that when I moved here.  Save the second bus for when it’s too hot or cold to handle the walk.  That’s the hard one, because you have to decide to do it from your comfortable seat.  Walking to Michigan is one decision.  Once you start, you’re committed, because nothing else works: go forward or you have to go back.  The decision to get off at Lake you can change right up until the moment you step off the bus.

01
Jul
10

Mmmm! Ketchup!

My Heinz No Sugar Added ketchup arrived today.  It has an odd taste at first, different from the normal, but not awful like Hunt’s catsup.  Actually pretty yummy, and it made the roast I ate for dinner SOOO yummy.  I want to try the Walden Farms calorie free tomato ketchup, but the color is weird.  All in all, I’m going to order a bottle of the Heinz for the office.

I realized it’s been over ten days since I took any candy from Daz’s bowl.

01
Jul
10

Well, that’s better

OK, I didn’t go to bed until 11, but that’s still 6.5 hours of sleep, which is much better than 5.  And the results show.  Down 3.5 pounds, for a total of almost 7.

I’m going to bed early again.




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